Let me tell you first that I'm not a person who makes decisions lightly. Any decision. It doesn't matter whether it's a big one or just something really simple... I often have a hard time making my mind up about things.
I'm the person who, after reading the menu up and down a few times, decides at the last moment what to have because everyone else has ordered already and the waiter is looking at me expectantly and I just can't stave off making a decision any longer. I'm also the person who will grab both a salami sandwich and a snickers bar because I just can't decide whether it's something sweet or salty that's tickling my fancy. I'm also the person who will pack a second shirt/necklace/whatever in my purse because I wasn't sure if I'd rather wear this or that.
(Gosh, seeing it spelt out like that I find myself rather annoying... It's funny how I find myself thinking "Can't you just make your mind up already?" when other people are shilly-shallying about things when, apparently, I'm no better at all...)
Anyway. After my last post I decided that I can't keep on burying my head in the sand. I have to take a good look at my situation, at myself and take responsibility for what I really want in my life. Time to make some decisions!
Decision #1 -- I'm going back to WW meetings!
Although I have avoided the scale like the plague, there's no denying that I'm most likely back to my highest ever weight. I feel like $hit about that! It's high-time to do something about it. And since all those half-hearted "do-it-yourself-at-home" attempts at counting points or calories or whatever have not had the desired effect (on the contrary!), I'm going to give it another go as a proper member. I'm hoping the fact that I'll have to step on that scale each week will help me get started again. I'm also hoping that I'll be lucky enough to find a good group and an inspirational leader!
Decision #2 -- I'm not giving up my blog!
Frankly, I thought about it many times... I get so much inspiration from reading blogs and sometimes I feel bad about not being able to give some of it back. I'm just rambling on and on and never getting anywhere with it... I'm not a success story who inspires other people. So why should I even be here?
Plus, it takes quite a bit of time... My husband has sort of complained a bit that I spend too much time in front of the computer and he thinks that blogging actually makes me gain weight instead of losing it. Could he be right? Wouldn't it be better for me to use this time and actually do something?
Maybe. Still, I can't quite imagine letting go of all this. I'll probably never be a daily blogger. And I don't have to be. But for right now, I want to keep this blog up as a place to pour out my thoughts. To vent my frustrations. And eventually celebrate my success with you... or so I hope.
Decision # 3 -- has nothing to do with weight loss at all...
Remember that house? Guess what... it's ours! We got it! Talk about major decisions... It's all pretty new and we're excited and exhilirated and scared $hitless all at the same time!
That's it for now. I'm feeling a lot better than I did when I wrote my last post... Tonight I'll be going to my first WW meeting again. I'm sure the numbers on the scale won't be pretty, but at least I feel like I'm doing something about it again. Wish me luck!
Thanks for reading.
